Please please please vote for me… in the Wired “Found” Photoshop Contest.

The subject: Imagine the future of the McDonald’s Happy Meal.

My entry:

McDonalds meets Apple for the iHappy Meal

I’m currently in 8th or 9th place (depending on if you go by “hot” or “top-rated”), behind some entries that didn’t even include a photoslopped picture. I don’t ask for much… relatively. Vote for Wendell. For Hope you can hope for, change that won’t stain, a bigger bucket to bail-out with and much more Photoslop.

Conservative pundits were claiming that last weekend and this were capable of “changing Hollywood” with the premieres of the Kirk Cameron Christian-firefighter-romance “Fireproof” and the Jerry Zucker Pro-War Political Comedy “An American Carol”. On the ‘other side’ was Bill Maher’s anti-every-church ‘documentary’ (in quotes since he was working with Borat’s director) “Religulous”.

Well, the results are in and the BIG WINNERS are…

Shia “TheBeef” LeBeouf and a Chihuahua.

But let’s do some comparing and conjecturing (because it’s more fun than doing it with the Presidential Campaigns):
THE REST OF THE STORY…

One more campaign sign before before the Vice Presidential debate tonight.

I’ll have some non-partisan (or at least third-party or sixth-party) campaign nonsense later, but my replacement for the laptop that drowned has arrived two days early (free shipping was supposed to be ground, but it came by air!) and I’ll be spending a lot of time getting it set up. Also, since it’s a reconditioned ThinkPad made in China, I’m having it tested to melanine.

And Yogi Bear, too.
50 years ago today…
Sure, more of you hadn’t been born yet, but I was 3 years old and destined to be in Hanna-Barbera’s prime audience.

This will be my final word(s)on this particular topic, but I see that someone else has registered JackThompsonIsSoDisbarred.com, collected 83 examples as of Saturday (but no update since) and is accepting more examples (along with “an amusing title image or css design”) at a Gmail address. I couldn’t have done a more half-assed job myself, and I am a Half-Assed Website Master. I’ll show the few JTISD.com has that aren’t from Twitter at the bottom of this list, thus completing the Circle of Internet Content Copyage.

Meanwhile, back at the Twitter:
THE REST OF THE STORY…

The Disbarments continue…
LOTS more inside…
THE REST OF THE STORY…

The main reason I haven’t been keeping up the blog this last week is that I went in for an overnight “Sleep Study”, returned with a bunch of “electrode glop*” in my hair and, having ended the 8-hour test sleepier than I started, tried to wash out the glop NOT with a normal shower but with a big bowl of warm water and a washcloth on the table next to my bed… right next to the laptop computer I use to blog in bed (yes, I am that disabled/lazy). And of course, most of the water spilled right onto the keyboard of the laptop and the display flashed and went off, never to go on again. I had already altered WordPress’s “update your blog anywhere” features to work best (i.e. only) with that laptop, and Twitter was so much easier to communicate with, even if I was limited to 140 characters at a time, AND YOU CAN SEE RIGHT HERE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I AM NOT LIMITED MY GOD I AM SO WORDY.

One I got the backup laptop able to blog, I wasted a lot of time “fixing” my design to render properly on Internet Explorer 6.0 (the only major browser where the rounded corners do a weird little levitation thing that looks crappy). Actually, it was never successfully “fixed”, and my only message to IE 6.0 users is: UPGRADE YOUR FRAKKING BROWSERS!!! GET INTO THE 21ST CENTURY, YOU EEDIOTS!!! EVEN MICROSOFT HAS A NEWER VERSION!!! ARE YOU AFRAID OF 7??? IS IT BECAUSE 7 ATE NINE???

Anyway, since I have said a few brilliantly funny things on Twitter lately, I will be recycling them in the next few posts (often expanding from the 140 character limit to my usual blather-til-you-drop style). And, of course, document the rest of the “So Disbarred” Twitter Meme, which I am right now regretting I got started with.

So stay tuned, fasten your seat belts, tip your waitress and GET A FRAKKING DECENT BROWSER, MORANS!!!

*that’s a Medical Term

My Internet Idol Lore Fitzgerald Sjöberg has made Twitter approximately 75% more fun (if not any more useful) with what he calls “Twitter Mobs” or “audience participation comedy”. He occasionally puts out a funny meme (like substituting “Mothra” for “Mother”), posts a few examples, and lets his just-under-a-thousand Twitter followers pick it up and run with it… often into a wall.

Being one of the Sjöbergazzi, I have been one of the first to jump on his rickety bandwagons, and take pride in some of my silliness (Now you know what I’ve been doing instead of blogging). But the only way to follow the fun is via Twitter Search, which is not so good for the Internet Permanent Record (rejected @ MetaFilter), so, since it’s one of those “somebody’s got to do it” things and I’ve been doing self-esteem exercises where I repeat “I am somebody” over and over, I decided to create a more static digest of the best Twitter Mob Meme yet: “Jack Thompson is SO Disbarred”…
THE REST OF THE STORY…

Or something like that…

Remember, to avoid confusion, “Talk Like a File Sharer Day” is December 26th (Lars Ulrich’s Birthday), “Talk Like a Pittsburgh Pirate Day” is August 18 (Roberto Clemente’s Birthday), “Talk Like Pontius Pilate Day” is the Thursday before Easter and “Sing Like a Character from Gilbert & Sullivan Day” is every day except December 1st (Gilbert ‘Alone Again Naturally’ O’Sullivan’s birthday).

This has been a Public Service Announcement from a Scurvy Knave. Remember, we can wipe out Scurvy in our lifetime.

I just took a hit on my starboard bow. And now, yes, they’re boarding. Gotta send out an S.O…